1. |
Paul
02:54
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Straight Rider
Paul Writer is a good man who likes to do things well.
He wakes up every morning about 7 o clock, sometimes before the alarm bell.
He’s been working in an office with strangers whose names he knows by heart
Checking his daily schedule for something tragic to make an appearance.
Straight Rider
Good provider
Inner monologue denier
Poor Paul, winners get‘eff all
Tuesday afternoons are as painful as they are slow
Staring out the window, Paul tries really hard to think of places to escape to.
Was it always like this?
He’s been asking himself more now than every before.
“Where did the plan go?
Did I ever even have one to to follow?”
Straight Rider
Fan fiction forum fascist; financial philistine
Knows all the words
But can’t name the tune
Or sing in time
It’s Friday evening with minutes counting down till
Another routine of, ‘plans for the weekend’, plastering, pints and PlayStation.
Weird thoughts of abandonment, purchasing confidence, girls in yoga pants
45 turning 90 overnight.
Panic attack picnic in a multistory car-park
Straight Rider
Office party perfectionist
Budget wine objectionist
Never had a brother
Never had a brother
To steal advice
Or cloths from
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2. |
It's Been A Weird One
03:27
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It’s been a weird one
That’s been going on
For what seems like
Far too fucking long
Some of those days just felt like they’d never end
But now we’re back in here and it’s no longer pretend
So here we are now
Made it through somehow
And I think the days are starting to get
Brighter once again
Face to face
This time I think we know we’re sure
Still really hope this feeling gives me more
Some days when we couldn’t deal with life out of bed
But now you’re in front of me and I got released from my head
I know it won’t always be this way
But I think I can now truly say
As long as we ignore the bullshit
Nothing gets in our way
So what do you want today?
Feels so nice to say
Anything at once
Sounds about okay
I don’t know what I would do
If I could never be close to you
I bring me down but so do you
I guess that’s just what lovers do
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3. |
Never Not Tryin'
02:22
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Never Not Tryin’
She said I’m looking for something new
What was I supposed to do?
I need to get away from myself
Was I ever good enough for you?
I’m tired of everything I see
Hope and pray she don’t mean me
Don’t you ever want to try something new?
I’m tired of how it’s come to never not tryin’
Or tryin’ just to get along.
I think we all need something more
Don’t need to tell me what it’s called
Just let me take us out of here
Everywhere is better than now
Maybe she’s just feeling upset
I don’t know what dosen’t get?
I tell her how I miss her when she’s not around
I wish he could understand
I bought her flowers the other day
Don’t you want what isn’t now?
I’m going crazy tryin’ to read her mind
I’m tired of how it’s come to never not tryin’
Or tryin’ just to get along.
I think we all need something more
Don’t need to tell me what it’s called
Just let me take us out of here
Everywhere is better than now
Anywhere is better
Than what’s now and here
Everywhere is better
Than what’s now and here
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4. |
So It Goes
02:04
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So It Goes
Couldn’t wait for tomorrow
She needs it all right now
Wasted the last of her patience
On assholes that let her down
If time really waits for no one
Who is she waiting for?
If you’re not part of the solution
You’d better step away from the door
8 long months of disappointment
You can see she’s not waiting anymore
Now you know how she got this far
Did you think your words could hold her back?
She’s going to take it,she’s not looking back
It’s already too late for sorry
The deed has already been done
It was over from the moment you let her down
And told her she was the only one
If it’s confusing to try to understand her
You must have known that this day would come
Better face up to your future
Other prizes waiting to be won
If you’re not part of the solution
You’d better step away from the door
8 long months of disappointment
You can see she’s not waiting anymore
Now you know how she got this far
Did you think your words could hold her back?
She’s out to grab it and she’s not coming back
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5. |
Everything All The Time
01:29
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Everything All The Time
My friend asked me where we go when we die?
I said I don’t know so I told her, ‘The Sky’.
She got kinda mad and then she started to cry
So I said, ‘you’re part of everything all the time’.
So now she knows
Yeah now she knows
We’re just trying to get by
We’re just trying to get by
A few days later she told me how
When her father died and she’d felt abandoned somehow
Didn’t know what to do so I kissed her instead
I thought she’d be angry, she just held me instead
And now I know
We’re just trying to get by
And I believe not all the feelings
Are really lies
A few days later and we’re together again
Same as before but somehow better I guess
Never asked her about that time we kissed
Dosen’t matter when you’re both going
Though whatever this is
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6. |
Bone Bin
02:58
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Bone Bin
He’s been going around asking if you’re still coming out tonight?
He’s asking if anyone is still up for it tonight.
Been waiting for the weekend for so long and he can’t remember why.
Got to catch a buzz, buzz, buzz
Been dying for it
He's dying for it.
Checking out of the bone bin
Checking out of the bone bin
Find a way to get him
Out from within
Poor lad,take a look at him, you know, he knows how the good times go.
He says, ‘I’m back on in the morning, just one more, then it’s off I go, home.
I’m not sure about him mate, he’s not the same since you know when.
Come on, come on, can’t make a difference.
Back in the bone bin
Straight to the back again
Checking out of the bone bin
Checking out of the bone bin
Find a way to drag him
Out from within
Waking up on a new tiled floor at 4am to someone kicking a door
Is this how he planned it all? Five months on and he’s ready for more.
Feeling the damp this time from without to back within.
Who am I supposed to be?
What can I expect from me again?
Checking out of the bone bin
Checking out of the bone bin
Find a way to drag him
Out from within
Out from within
Back in the bone bin
Back in the bone bin
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7. |
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I don’t think we’re better than this
I said I was sorry but I’m not sure what for.
I only told you how I was feeling, that’s not what you heard.
Maybe next time I’ll shut up and say that you’re right
Or I’ll tell you how sometimes you’re so full of shit
I could never hurt you at least not like that.
You’re pushing my buttons and I think you like it.
Should we stay together?
Is this just how it is?
Time is running out
Time is running out
I don’t think we’re better than this (4)
Never going to call you as I’m checking my phone
I’m having a great time being alone
Wonder if you can remember late night promises?
If you’re not too busy, why don’t you come back here?
I don’t think we’re better than this (4)
Is this just what it is?
Just take a look at this mess
So afraid to say
Is there a better way?
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8. |
Hot-Wire, Hot-Head
02:06
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Hot-wired, hot-head
It’s the same way every time I try to make some sense of it
Sliding doors, the forks inroads, I should have, could have, so sick of it.
Opportunities come and go but some of those aren’t worth even mentioning.
Sometimes all I really want is to forget the present and just get over it.
Here it comes that familiar feeling creeping around inside my brain
Baby let’s get back to boring. Seven days of normality
Hot-wired, hot-head
Anything else than what the T.V. said
Hot-wired, hot-head
Don’t you get tired of being clever; aren’t you tired of, ‘honey, I told you so’?
Forget the formula and delete the sat-nav; where we’re going we don’t need roads
Try to imagine what would happen if one day you just let it go.
Your apologizing is hypnotizing; I’m an anti-social couples councilor
Here it comes that familiar feeling creeping around inside my brain
Baby let’s get back to boring. Seven days of normality
Hot-wired, hot-head
Anything else than what the T.V. said
Hot-wired, hot-head
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9. |
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How is it better unsaid?
Each time I tell myself
Am I just like everyone else?
Tryin’ to break the cycle just one more time,
Won’t try to analyze, comprehend or compromise.
Tomorrow they’ll all know who has won.
Pieces begin to fall
As we remember it all
Words we tried to forget
How is it better unsaid?
Followed through on every word
Did you believe one day I would,
Become almost as strong as you?
Not quite the same but close enough
Days and nights of that made up stuff
The dreams we thought maybe could be true
Reality always equalized
The hopes, wishes and texted lies
Never tried to accept what became of you
Pieces begin to fall
As we remember it all
Words we tried to forget
How is it better unsaid?
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10. |
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I miss you all the fucking time
I got a message from you
That said you think of me
Sometimes
Then you blew my mind
I thought about what I could say
Should I play it cool or tell you
I miss you all the fucking time?
I miss you all the fucking time?
I see you’ve moved back home
You say you’re looking forward to doing it
All on your own
Do you really want to be alone?
And suddenly we’re back there again
And time’s stayed still
Do you feel the same?
Or is this just a test of how I feel?
I miss you all the time (8)
The guy you lived with for 6 months
Got drunk one night and broke your door
Said he loved you then pushed you to the floor
You always knew how to make me laugh
When I think of you I always
Wish you were thinking of me too
But I guess that’s kind of rude
Your stupid smile makes me laugh
The sound of your voice makes me think
The good time can come back again
Even if it’s only for pretend
And suddenly we’re back there again
And time’s stayed still
Do you feel the same?
Or is this just a test of
How I feel?
I miss you all the time (8)
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11. |
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And though it might feel like the world is the same
We always knew nothing can really change
When it feels like things are getting dark
Remember the morning isn’t far
Just need one thing I know to be true
A simple word I’d used before
It’s a word I thought I knew the meaning of
But then you learn that’s not what it’s for
Out of touch, on a kitchen floor
I wish it would, I wish I knew
Hoping for something that is true
And even though you don’t know what to do
You say, as long as I’m anywhere with you
That warm rush when I see your smile
A Friday night can last me a while
And I wish I was something more than me
Something more than me
We’re hoping for something that is true
Just like normal people do
Just like normal people do
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12. |
Oh, No!
01:22
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Oh no
Not this again
But the feeling
Not as bad
As before
Some dreaming
Has been going on
And now
Reality is feeling weird again
Here we are
Bring me back out
Of my
Mind again
Stuck in a thought
Wasn’t mine
It was something I’d heard
On the radio
She’s bringing me down
With a confident smile
A voice
Reality feeling so weird again
Here we are
Bring me out
Of my
I was what
Not what I was
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13. |
If I Were Me
02:06
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If I were me I'd tell myself
That the past is simply somewhere else
As we keep moving around until
What we believed was lost is here again
Here it comes again
And then it starts but it’s not quite the same
Ideas shifting, the mood has changed
But she is still convinced it wasn’t a mistake
What once was me
If I were me what would you do?
Would you bring me home or set me loose?
Now it’s become so clear,
I’m turning into you
And then it starts but not quite the same
Ideas shifting, the mood has changed
But she is still convinced
It wasn’t a mistake
If I were me
I’m turning into you
If I were me
I’m turning into you
If I were me, what would I do?
If I were me, what would I do?
If I were me, what would I do?
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14. |
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Is This How It Feels When You’re Already At The Bottom
When I woke up in a, ‘feelin’ lost in a strange place’ kind of way
My eyes felt like they’d been cut in two with two razor blades
That’s the last of the last times and I mean it this time.
Away from myself and all the good and the bad times.
Staggered away from the floor, nearly lost my grip,
Fell into a bathroom stall but didn’t dare take a look at myself.
Is this what she meant when she said, ‘you need to learn how to take care of yourself for when I’m gone’.
Fell back into the sofa, I’m already feeling sick
Sick of my situation, choices, the whole goddam lot of it
Gonna get it together, can’t do another 30 days of this.
14 of those in isolation can drive you crazy if you think of it.
Is this what it means to start to give a shit?
Is this what it means when you say you’re really done with it?
Is this what it means when you’re really sorry about it
Or is this just how it feels when you’re already at the bottom?
Or is this just how it feels when you’re already at the bottom?
Is this how it feels when you’re already at the bottom?
Is this how it feels when you’re already at the bottom?
I don’t know
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risteardd Dublin, Ireland
Risteard D is an Irish musician currently working in Beijing, China. He regularly performs as a solo artist and with friends as LOW BOW and experimental ambient / noise project: Cloud Choir. Contact: dongmohan@gmail.com
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